Unequally Yoked (Part 1)

What does it mean to be unequally yoked?

I thought about starting this piece with “Hello gentle reader”, but nothing about what I want to write here is meant for gentle readers.
In fact, the opinions over the next few paragraphs are so controversial that a lot will disagree, even those it is meant to empower.

I hear a lot of ‘brave’ talk from men in particular of how supportive they are of women. Some will even agree that they support feminism. Fortunately this isn’t an exhaustive piece on feminism. Rather it is a truth that extends beyond feminism.

As a woman, if you have not been told “You’re too masculine” then you’re lucky. You’re digestible for our culture. A woman is supposed to be sweet, loving, nurturing and (my favorite) submissive. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1850 or 2050.

For a lot of men, equality is still him being the head and the woman his support. If a woman is opinionated, she can’t be controlled. But I ask, if you’re truly pro-feminist why is controlling her a priority?

Times have changed. Women now work, most now channel their inner masculine to hustle, to be independent. Funny enough it is the same patriarchal society, tired of responsibility, that pushed the feminine nature into accepting her two sides.

“I can’t have a partner that is not working”.

Science has proved to us that every gender has traces of the other gender in them. Most men have just been groomed to tone down their feminine side to point zero. And women likewise; Take care of the home. Wake up at 4:30 and prepare food for your family. Bear babies.

To ask a woman to work is to tell her to channel her masculine nature. In reality, a lot of women have channeled this masculine side, whether on purpose or by necessity.

“Any one close to a woman is in fact in the presence of two women” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The patriarchy brought a blessing. It is a woman’s true nature to be both sweet and fierce, soft and firm, masculine and feminine. To have this type of woman is to have an equal, is to have it all.

“You can’t have two heads.”

I say why not? If you’re partners with one goal, why is she only digestible when she’s sweet as cinnamon? She’s an adult human like you with her own path even before your paths crossed. Why then do you still seek to control?

As beautiful as sunny side eggs are, scrambled eggs are better. But even better, egg sauce. This isn’t about eggs. It’s being equally yoked, however that looks for you.

–Tammy

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